Happy Earth Day friends!
The last six and a half weeks have been hard, to say the least. It’s been a constant struggle recovering from my car accident, and I find myself exhausted and back in that horrible place I go when I become broken.
Yesterday, I spoke to my old Young Life leader. I needed guidance, and there are few people in this world that can guide you through a hard time like she can.
I told her how I’ve been struggling, and that my Therapist, who I love and adore, is moving away in just a few short weeks. I shared with her how lost and alone I feel at the prospect of not having her by my side, and confided in her that I truly have no idea how I will learn to trust someone else with the dark clouds in my head.
Jess, my young life leader, then shared with me some hard, but undeniable truth.
“I’ve found that sometimes when I get too attached or dependent on any one person or thing, God distances me from it. He may be reminding you that the one thing that can truly fulfill an empty heart is a strong relationship with Christ.”
Jess knows that I have struggled in my relationship with God. There have been many ups and downs in my life, and I have struggled almost constantly with the idea that unconditional love from our creator would put me on the difficult path I’ve had to walk in life.
But recently, especially after a good friend took me to see The Shack. I have reconciled with the idea that God can be good, even if my life is hard.
I know there is a plan, and as painful as it is to lose her, I’m sure that my therapist having to leave is a part of that plan, even if it’s one I don’t want to accept.
So today, I got outside. I hiked with my dog for about an hour and a half and just thought about life and enjoyed the beauty that is our Earth.
Now, I sit on my back porch taking in the breeze and basking in the son with one thought on my mind: God is good.